Last month, as I was preparing for my daughter’s first work meeting since she was born, I was hit with a tremendous amount of mom guilt, but this time it was the guilt of being a working mom. I felt guilty for leaving the baby right after my trip to Las Vegas earlier that month, and I felt guilty for leaving the meeting early to get home with the baby. I didn’t feel fully present in my family or work.
Even before I became a mother, I was determined to keep working. For me, writing is not just a profession, it is a vocation. And I knew that being the best version of myself, let alone being a good mother, required a creative path. I needed to continue pursuing my professional and personal goals. Rather than play around with my ambitions, I needed to explore them in new ways, much like Beyoncé and Serena Williams changed gears after becoming mothers.
However, in doing so, it can sometimes feel like neither writer nor mother is doing particularly well, leading to depression and anxiety (a recent study found that 42% of working mothers is also the same).
However, a 2015 survey of 50,000 adults in 25 countries found that daughters of working mothers were more educated, employed at higher levels, and earned more money. Okay, so I’m relieved. Specifically in the United States, daughters of working mothers earned 23% more than daughters of stay-at-home moms.
“Part of the guilt of working mothers is, ‘Oh my kids would be so much better off if I stayed home,’ but adult results show that women It means that children’s lives are much better off,” said Kathleen McGinn, a professor at Harvard Business School and author of the study. new york times Back then. “This is as close to a silver bullet as it can be to reduce gender inequality both at work and at home.”
This is not to say that one parenting method is better than the other. First, researchers were uncertain whether a mother’s career or education had a greater impact on daughters.
Plus, I believe you can do better than the terms “working mom” and “stay-at-home mom” because parenting is all work, and there are pros and cons to both lifestyles. For me and my family, the benefits of having a career other than running a home outweighed the benefits of being the primary caregiver.
I believe every mother should have the right and the resource to decide what is best for her. In fact, in the US the cost of living (not to mention childcare) often drives that decision. This choice issue is one of the reasons Alison Robinson launched her. mom projectDigital Talent Marketplace, 2016.
After giving birth to her first child in 2015, Robinson realized how difficult it was for mothers to juggle childcare and a full-time career, and encouraged women to stay in the workforce as they wished. Founded a company with a purpose.
“Mothers accomplish the impossible and make many sacrifices to create a better future for their families,” says Robinson, who is also CEO of Mama Project. “As I navigate my own transition, [into motherhood]read back 40% of American women leave the workplace After having a child. The traditional job market is unattractive to many women, and they don’t feel like they’re being watched, but if we can connect these amazing women to rewarding job opportunities, we can really strengthen the economy. I had the hypothesis that “
In developing The Mama Project, Robinson remembered her mother, who took a step back from her career to raise herself and her siblings, but didn’t have the confidence to re-enter the workforce.
“She was the kind of person no one would hire me for, and that really shaped me. I thought no,” Robinson recalls. “Daughters have a special relationship with their mother, and whether or not you’re part of the paid workforce, whether or not your daughter sees you as managing the household, it all matters.” is her role model.”
And when guilt creeps in, Robinson kindly reminds all mothers to give themselves respite.
“As mothers, we are really hard on ourselves,” she says. “We would be better off if we could all give ourselves more permission and more freedom to live the life that was best designed for us.”
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